Valentine's Day Rant

It’s Valentine’s Day! And if you’re anything like me, you don’t care. I mean, it’s sweet and all, but why are we dedicating one full day to loving people? Is there the implication that we don’t/can’t/don’t need to love on a daily basis? Shouldn’t the chase (be it in a romantic, platonic or spiritual relationship) last throughout the relationship? Why buy balloons and flowers and cards on one day in February to display your affection for somebody when you both know that you will love that person in January, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December and all the other days in February?

But what can I say? I’ve never been in a relationship — I’m too young for that — and so maybe when I eventually am put in a position where I love somebody romantically, I’ll value Valentine’s Day more than I do now?

Anyway. Rant over. Now on to the real stuff.

Which, because this is a blog, is actually still a rant.

Today I wanted to talk about a bunch of things, but the one thing that I feel totally and absolutely compelled to discuss is prayer.

Recently, I’ve been going through a bit of a bleak streak (rhymes) in my walk with God. It’s not that I’m angry and upset at God, or that I’m trying to distance myself, or any of that. I just feel like:

1. With all that’s going on at school (which is a lot), I don’t seem to have time for my heart to seek God.

2. The emotional weight of being a cell leader takes the joy away from getting personal with God at church (don’t get me wrong though. I love being a cell leader. It’s incredibly rewarding when one of your cell kids confides in you, or tells you anything, really. And the kids are the best cell kids I could have asked for. They’re all completely forgiving, sweet, enthusiastic, and unique. They’re also really cute, and I can’t emphasise how much I love them.)

3. I know people I can pray with, but somehow don’t feel driven to catch up with them.

4. It sort of gets to me when I ask people for prayer requests, and they don’t ask me back.

I suppose it seems stupid that I want people to pray for me, because hello, it’s not like I can’t pray for myself! And the Bible does talk about giving, and not expecting anything in return. 

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” - 2 Corinthians 9:7

And maybe it’s because I’m going through a particularly dry period that I feel like I can’t do this alone. Maybe it’s due to repetition: you ask many people for their many prayer requests, and get a surprisingly low “turnover”. Maybe it’s due to the way I live my life as well. I’d like to think that I’m usually happy, which is both a blessing and a curse, if you will. It means being vulnerable and being the one who gets knocked down the most. I’m no special case. Most of us have been there before, right?

But I do want to encourage you, if you’re reading this, to do a couple of things. (Not for me! They're things that are inspired by my current feelings towards prayer. This is meant to be general.)

1. Don’t forget your peers. Pray with your friends at school, at church and at home. It makes a difference. I read somewhere that having somebody say “I’ll keep you in prayer” is the biggest compliment you can get, because it means that person is talking to God about you, and I think this is completely true. Bless somebody today!

2. Don’t forget your subordinates. I don’t mean this in a derogative way. Pray for those who are younger than you, pray for those who look up to you. If you’re in a leadership position in any way, pray for those who are being led by you. I think this does strengthen your leadership style, because God can guide you to lead better. I’m reading about Moses right now, and it’s amazing how frequently he goes to talk to God. There are so many instances where somebody comes up to him with a problem (like the daughters in chapter 27) with a problem (like how there were no males to give the inheritance to), and Moses’ first response was to “bring their case to the Lord”. And it does make him a really wise leader. So many times, God opens Moses’ eyes to things he hadn’t seen before. And He does that with us, too.

3. Don’t forget your leaders. As tempting as it is to believe that leaders have got it made, it’s an out-right lie. Leaders go through spiritually dry periods, they have problems at home and in the workplace or school. Leaders are sometimes the most fragile people, I’ve learned, because very often, they are the ones who are forgotten. We’re more likely to treat a schoolmate to ice cream than a teacher. We’ll probably invite a cellmate over to chat than the pastor. It’s easier to play Xbox with your siblings than your parents. Very often, leaders get so caught up in asking other people how they are that people forget to reciprocate. So yes. In essence, ask your leaders how their day was. Say good morning. Ask if you can pray with them. It makes a huge difference.

I apologise for the rant-y-ness of this particular post. 

And I’d like to end off with some thanksgiving!

1. I got the essay category choice that I wanted! I wanted to write an essay about graphic novels, which I thought probably wouldn’t be permitted, seeing as I’m doing this as a literature essay, and I don’t know if the teachers will want me reading comics for lit, but I got it! Yay!

2. Thank God that English is my first language. Really. Today during Theory of Knowledge (we discuss things and hypothesise things… if this makes any sense at all.) class, our lecturer was talking about language, and how it relates to how we perceive and know things. He brought up the thing about “ghotis”, which you can Google (in essence, “ghoti”, using some of the pronunciation rules of the English language, should be pronounced as “fish”. And “ghoughpteighbteau" should be pronounced “potato”. I know, right? Insane.). And I realise that learning English is probably pretty difficult, and I’m not sure I even understand it myself anymore.

3. I’m recovering from a cold! My immune system is fighting back and it feels great.

4. Today, for whatever reason, I woke up with a desire to go beyond the sub-standard daily devotionals I’ve been doing (for me, this means squeezing in three chapters of the Bible every day, at whatever point in the day I happen to “have time” for it. I’m busy, but I’m also aiming to learn to “make time” for God and the Bible instead. I’m currently looking at doing one chapter when I wake up, one chapter when I’m on the train home, and one chapter right before I go to sleep. I also want to continue writing down brief summaries and learning points of each chapter I do. I used to analyse the Bible line by line, word for word. It was immensely interesting and I really liked doing it, but I just don’t have the time to do that now, and it was sort of draining. Excuses, I know. But I want to do this eventually. I’m aiming to do that in 2016, when I’m finally done with school.)

5. I had a great day today, against all odds. I woke up feeling like I had swallowed liquid sunshine. I couldn’t doze off in the car this morning, because I was feeling so great. I breezed through lessons — I paid attention like I have never paid attention to classes before! I didn't fall asleep at any point of the day, and hardly felt disappointed or sad or knocked down. I felt pretty darn great. Praise the Lord!

6. I started reading my film magazine (which is called Total Film or something like that) and I think it’s great that I’m reading things instead of constantly turning to my phone for amusement.

7. I abseiled today, and it was fun! I’m looking forward to going rock climbing tomorrow as well. It’s such a great sport, once you get past the funny attire. I’m learning to love it quite a lot.

8. I was done with school extra early today. (It’s only 5.30 and I’ve already managed to get home, shower, and start on work. Plus leisure reading. Wow, right?) I get to have dinner with my family, which is such a rarity nowadays that it’s stopped being funny.

9. I discovered olive spread and it is amazing.

10. I managed to get the serial number of my stolen laptop, so hopefully that’ll help us locate it. Hmm.

I’ll stop here, because I know this must be getting really boring. Anyway, thanks as always for listening to me, and I hope you have a lovely weekend. God bless you!

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” - Hebrews 10:24-25