Today was a pretty long day because we had rehearsals at school, but they were the first good rehearsals we've ever had, so that was okay. Just that the entire day I felt myself wanting to read the Word, and hearing God asking me to chat with Him, but I was being selfish and caught up in my friends and my exam revision and assignments that I just kept putting it off.
I think God got tired of me being that way, so He ruined my plan to have dinner with (and possibly MRT back with?) my close friend. At first I felt kind of empty, like I'd finally had the time to spend with people, and now I couldn't because of the circumstances.
But as soon as I got on the train, I was just overcome with a desire to read the Word and hear His voice, because I'd gone the entire day without it ):
I'm currently reading the book of Job.
I've always flipped past it, seen glimpses of it and thought it wouldn't really apply to me because, you know, I'm not really dying or anything yet. But over the past few weeks, I'd randomly open the Bible, and it'd always open up to Job, so I saw it as a sign to read it!
And I actually really like this book. I'm currently at Job 15, and I've already found so many relatable things.
I'll just share what happened today though.
A little bit of context: Recently, I've been going crazy because of the increased workload, and the fact that I still have to put in 200% for theatre even though I don't enjoy it at all. Being in my pre-IB year, things are getting pretty tough and hard to handle. My parents offered me the option of being homeschooled or changing schools, but I've refused on the basis that God called me to the school I'm in because He wants to use me in this community. That has gotten us into a couple of disagreements, because they can see how stressed I'm getting, and they don't think it's right for me.
So today, one particular verse stood out to me, which was
Though He slay me, I will hope in Him. Nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him. (Job 13:15)
Because, coming home late feeling slightly tired and hungry, I immediately related this to my situation at school - I'm not happy there, I'm not doing well, but I believe God is testing me. My first thought was "hey, that's exactly what I'm going through! I'm struggling to do what God wants me to do!" but then God urged me to look again.
After re-reading the same verse a couple of times, I finally understood what He was trying to say.
The context of this verse is that Job thinks God is testing him, but really, satan is. And for me, this is a big revelation. Maybe satan is trying to get me to the end of my line so I'll give up on my family and on God. While it doesn't mean I'll necessarily quit schools, it is a very apt reminder for someone like me who likes to give value to everything that happens (not always a bad thing!). Maybe it's applicable to you guys too? It's really opened my eyes.
Reflecting on this situation, I realise that this is a good reminder to listen to God. I remember sharing some time back an incident where the devil knocked the Bible out of my hands (you can read about it here), and I think this story of Job is a reminder that you can get caught up in the wrong things if you don't pay attention to God through what He shows you, through His Word, through Spirit-led prayers and through other Christians.
So yep! That's it from me for now! I'm exceedingly happy because I got to spend time with God on the train, and then my dad walked out to the bus stop to walk home with me, which was really sweet of him (:
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