It's not my first time doing a social media fast. In fact, social media is the thing I fast from most frequently. This is my third social media fast!
The reason for this fast is that I found myself becoming almost obsessed with what other people thought of me. I felt myself creating an ideal me online and propagating that, instead of who I really am. I realised that I was too often more concerned with the number of likes my photos got than with the verses I read during devotions. People had become my god instead of Jesus, and I decided that a fast from people (at least, online) was in order.
To be extremely honest, this fast wasn't that meaningful. Maybe it's because I'm used to staying off social media, maybe it's because I found other things to be interested in (games, sewing, writing scripts...). Yes, I was effectively off of social media platforms for thirty days, but instead of seeing myself change and feeling a desire to get right with God, I started to see all my iniquities.
Number one: I'm actually just as caught up with pleasing people in person as I am online. I went on a school service trip to Baray, and while there, I caught myself gossiping and laughing at other people's failures. I won't lie. It made me feel horrible. And while I blamed the fourteen days of work for bringing out my worst side, I quietly wondered if this is how I am on a daily basis.
Number two: I'm horrible at making personal change. Referring back to my previous example, I repeatedly found myself gossiping and talking about other people. I thought about it, decided it was a sin, and then didn't do anything about it. I was back in the gossip circle every night. One night during devotions, God sent a pretty personal message to me via Psalm 34:13.
"Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies."I felt really bad then, but again, I didn't do anything to change. I realise in hindsight that this is something I normally do; I might not be an active participant in badmouth sessions, but when I'm there, I don't speak up either.
Number three: I find ways to compensate. For the first week or so of the social media fast, I found myself playing a lot of phone games. I normally don't use my phone for gaming, but for that week, I was. And in excess. I realised that this was me making up for the time I spend on social media, which wasn't supposed to be the case. I was supposed to be giving the time to God. I realise that I shortchange myself and God of quiet time because I feel the need to be connected all the time, and that isn't good.
Okay! So now you've heard me rant about my shortcomings. You should probably also hear my plan for the future.
Solution to problem number one: Be open with people about what I stand for. If I'm not comfortable with doing something, I should tell my friends so that they can keep me in check too.
Solution to problem number two: Come up with a Biblical moral code and stick to it. I currently float around on an ocean of devotional material, but I haven't dictated a code of law for myself to follow. I think that would help me.
Solution to problem number three: Allocate set times throughout the day to read a verse, pray, or listen to gospel music. To maintain a healthy spiritual diet, it makes sense to pepper the entire day with reminders of His importance and greatness in my life.
Food for thought: Are there things in your life that are meant to honour God, that are becoming a distraction from Him instead?
Prayer request: That I'll be able to keep up with the three new rules!
Thanksgiving: Thank God for bringing me back to my family after the Cambodia trip!
That's all from me for today. I'll leave you guys with a verse that I read just today, that I think speaks to me regarding my takeaways from this particular fast. God bless you guys!
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." - Psalm 51:10
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